He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
