Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize