The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
