I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
