Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
