I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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