I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
