Its about making memories worth repressing
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
