Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
