so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
