You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
