Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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