You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
