I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
