every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
