Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
someone owes me an orgasm
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
