this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Sext me about skeletons
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
