i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
