I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
