I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
