I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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