I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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