singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
