The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We are two peas in an std pod
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
