she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
