you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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