There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
