just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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