i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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