Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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