i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
