Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
