How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
they need to just BURY HIM!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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