As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Is it penis luge time yet?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
