thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
