can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
