Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize