I think my fart just growled at me.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
