Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
