The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
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