i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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