1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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