nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
