Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize