don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
this must be what syphilis tastes like
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
