Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
