i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
