Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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