Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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