so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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