I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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