this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Did I show you my penis last night?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
