My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
