I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
