I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
