I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
