My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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