We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
