You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She just used a chaser for red wine.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize