i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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