Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize