i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
