i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
