how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
