Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
