is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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