you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
