This girl is more easily done than said...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
